This one is a little difficult to write. I want to give you insight into our world. Not for pity or praise, but just so you can experience a little bit of what we encounter weekly. I’m not always the best at wording or telling stories, so bear with me. – K
About two weeks ago we had a boy approach our front door. He was short for eleven years with a broad smile and shy eyes. He wore the clothes nicer than most kids who visit our yard. We have many people come by our house wanting aid, or many times kids wanting fruit from our trees, so I assumed this was the case. I had recognized him from a time I had seen him before when I had been with the girls on the team. He proceeded to tell us that his father had died two years ago, his mother had left him as a child, and his grandmother, whom he had been living with, just passed away. So currently he was living with another family. They, however, had gone for the day and he just wanted some company. So he was wondering if he could hang out at our house for the day. So he did. We were sad for his situation, gave him some food, someone to talk to, and let him hang out. We didn’t think much of it.
He came back two days later. Same story, but the family he was staying with had gone to a different location. So again we gave him company, said we had some work to do, but he was free to rest on the porch, gave him some food, etc.
Again, he came back two days later. This time, saying the family he had been staying with left the day before and said they were not coming back. Apparently they had told him he could stay with them until they left. We asked him many questions….about family, about his grandmother’s home, he seemed to have an answer for everything and yet at the same time, did not have a whole lot of answers. This 11-year-old boy was homeless, hadn’t been in school for two years and needed some help. So we called our language helper for some advice and she said to go to the district commissioner’s office. Of course by this time it was late in the afternoon, there was one man there that did not have a whole lot to say for help and we were on our way home. The thoughts going through our head were: do we just take him in for the night? Is this what we should do as a part of the Church? We really don’t know anything about this kid, is he lying to us? Where are all of his belongings? He seems pretty adamant to get back to our house, maybe this is a part of a big scheme? But at the same time he seems legitimate.
So, we asked him about his things….he took a long second to respond. We decided we wanted to try to find out if this was all real. He said he had left his clothes at a friend’s house. We asked him to take us there. The friend was not home and no one in that area really seemed to recognize him. We decided we did not think it wise for us to have him in our home at this point. We asked him where he wanted to stay for the night. I think he was surprised by our question, but after a few moments pause, he told us a location, we dropped him off with a little money for food and said he could come back in the morning and we will try to figure something out.
That night Caleb went and talked with our neighbors and the chairperson of our neighborhood. Both said, ‘Do not let him in your house!’. Right away they seem pretty sure we should be very wary about trusting this kid. The chairperson also said that the boy needs to go to the chairperson of where he had been living with his grandmother; that person is in charge of this sort of situation.
So the boy arrived in the morning, we told him what he needed to do. We said if you don’t know who your chairperson is you can ask around (I mean, he was able to find our house specifically, we are pretty sure that was not a coincidence). We told him, if he gets direction from them, then great, but if he needs some more help, then we can try to help. That afternoon he came back saying the chairperson was filling out some sort of paper for him and then they would give him instructions of what to do or where to go next. We told him again it would be best to do on his own because he would be more likely to get aid or some sort of help if people did not see western people (Wazungu) helping him).
Next day…He returned with the instructions that he needs to return to the village where he had gone to school originally to get a note from the school teacher and from the chairperson of that village. This place is located about 2.5-3 hrs away. At this point we were really hoping this kid was for real. Our language helper had said that sometimes people send kids to scout out homes to see what is inside, so they can know if it is worth stealing. We decided not to let him inside our house but still try to help him with his papers. We set a date to go and asked our gardener to come early and stay until we got back just to help keep an eye on the house. Just in case.
The day came, we all loaded in the car, including a Tanzanian friend who knows that area really well and could help us with some clarifications for the situation. There was a strange feeling in the air the whole day. At times this kid seemed sick, super uncomfortable, and never really seemed to fond of returning to this place. We had great interactions with the people there, spent the whole day out, Aletheia got extremely dirty, but we were hoping all of this would help this kid get his feet back on track. After nine hours of travel and dropped him off where he was staying, he got out without a word, and we went on home.
The next day he was back. He said he had gone to his chairperson’s place and they sent him to the district commissioner’s office. They wanted to talk to us. We were confused why he needed us, it just did not make any sense, but finally we were able to get a hold of him by phone. He explained that the notes we had received in the village were addressed to ‘whom it may concern’, and because it was not to anyone in particular, no one would take responsibility. Also, this kid had not passed his exams the last time he was in school, so it was very unlikely we would be accepted into a public school using aid. His suggestion was to send the boy on a bus back to his village to get the notes and then he could try and be helped somewhere into a school, but it did not seem likely, unless it was a private school(which of course he did not have the money for).
What to do….this just seemed never ending. The boy did not want to go on a bus back to the village because he did not think it would do him any good at all. Caleb told him that we would talk and he could come back the next day. That night we had a lot of conversation together talking about how it is the job of the church not the state to help the broken, maybe we need to pay for him to go to school. He had expressed quite an interest in starting school again and we could tell he was smart. We also had conversation with our neighbors about how, according to them, every day there are kids who sleep at the bus station, selling water and snacks and creating these sob stories so people will feel bad and give them money. “We have seen that boy as the bus stand!… If you keep helping him, then more kids will come.” They said. They were convinced this kid was conning us. We were so torn and our heads just throbbing.
So the next morning, after prayer and some conversation, Caleb sat down with the boy and told him we could not help him financially right now. We have invited to come once a week to just visit and have someone who will listen to him and we can practice some Swahili. However, we feel that that is the best we can do right now. He was not very happy, but he finally accepted our answer and left.
We are not positive this is right. In fact, tomorrow we might even change our minds. He have heard stories about kids beging helped by foreigners and returning to the streets. At the same time we keep wondering if a small had up from us could be a turing point in his story. We feel that more than he needs a benefactor to whom he can not accountable he needs someone to slowly listen, build trust, and maybe one day know better how to help. We want to love him, but we are not sure we can trust him and this is what we feel is best for now. Daily we are asking God for wisdom in situations like these. Obviously this drastic of a story doesn’t happen every day, but we are surrounded by it. We don’t’ feel big enough or adequate enough to answer these questions. All we can do is ask God for wisdom. Sometimes we wonder if our actions even make sense to those around us. I mean if we had given him money, maybe our consciences would feel better and maybe he would leave us alone for a little bit….but that’s not what we are supposed to do here. But we are not so sure that makes sense.
God is slowly working on us. Maybe after 10 years we will have a better idea of what Jesus would do in this situation. For now we can simply ask for wisdom and trust God will guide us.
Posted in Uncategorized
