Ups and Downs

Before we came to Tanzania, we were told many things about culture shock. One of those aspects that was shared was about the ups and downs of life as you learn about culture and language. ‘People say’ there are usually typical down slopes that come along about every 6 months and maybe small ones every three months for the first two to three years. I don’t know who those people are, but they were right. We had our first big slump at about 6 months when we had just moved to Mtwara and Caleb’s parents were visiting. We just had no energy or motivation to do anything, which was bad timing since we had just moved into an empty house and we had family visiting who wanted to help.

We hit our one year mark at the end of September and it wasn’t too long after that that we could tell we were in a funk again. We cannot pinpoint what exactly, maybe a combination of different events and frustrations, but we are in it. I’m saying this, not to make anyone feel sorry for us or start giving money towards tickets home, it’s more so that people can know what real life is like. Yes, we came here knowing that culture shock would happen and we’d get through it and then get on to the good stuff, but it’s difficult to think quite that positively when you’re in the midst of it. So often we have people tell us how proud they are, or thankful they are for people like us doing what we are doing. There are even those that want to be in the same shoes as us and envy our job position. Don’t get me wrong, we are so thankful for all of the encouragement that is sent our way and we know we have a very unique job that we are blessed to have, but right now, it just does not feel quite as glamorous as it is made out to be.

There are many mornings that we wake up, prepare breakfast, and talk about the day. Sometimes we are motivated, sometimes, not-so-much. But we push on through. It truly is amazing how God has created marriages so that when one of us wakes up completely down and unmotivated, the other one of us automatically seems to have energy enough for both of us. This seems to swap almost daily, but I’m so glad we have it. I don’t think we could do this without each other. And then there are days that God knows we would not make it unless He just gives us the smallest little happiness: whether it’s a conversation with a neighbor, a video of a niece or nephew, good news, or a day when only a couple people come to our door. He knows that we need and what it is we need to push through.

We are also very blessed to have family that understands what we are going through. They have been through a similar experience in their lives and we can at least vent and they can identify with us (as long as the internet is working). Caleb’s dad encouraged us a couple weeks ago by saying sorry that we have to go through what we are going through, but if it is any consolation, he went through similar situations and days, but he really doesn’t remember those bad days anymore. ‘You feel like you will never forget them, but someday you will.’ That helped. It might be years down the road, but it helped.

Some days are up and some days are down. We know that we have had a slump before and things are slow and discouraging, but God saw us through the last one and He’ll see us through this one. We just need to ‘Be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.’ (Psalm 27:14)

-Kristina

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~ by Caleb on November 11, 2011.