Beggarman

“‘Though I neither fear God nor respect man, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will give her justice, so that she will not beat me down by her continual coming.’ And the Lord said, ‘Hear what the unrighteous judge says. And will not God give justice to his elect, who cry to him day and night? Will he delay long over them?'” – Luke 18:4b-7

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” – Matthew 7:7-11

 

I greeted the beggarman as he hobbled over to the porch to sit in his usual spot just to the left of our door. I greeted him and he me, then he asked for aid.  I said no. He argued with me and worked me from different angles but I didn’t budge. After about an hour of haggling he finally hobbled away with a wave and a forced smile. As we parted I too waved and said. “See you Monday.”

I hope that was the right thing to do, I thought to my self as he sped through our open gate.

For the past three months or so, Beggarman has been coming to our house off and on to the point that it became clear that he was depending on us.  By itself, that wouldn’t be too bad except that he is always very demanding and even demeaningly racist when drunk. He will typically hold me hostage with long guilt trips until I give him something. At some point I realized that his behavior was oppressive and unhealthy so I began to ask him to only come once a week, on Mondays. Before long, he was taking advantage of this and making us his weekly grocery shop stop.  This too is unhealthy especially when people come to feel you owe them.  I explained that it was not good to come every week and asked that he take that into consideration. This time he came on a Thursday. I decided I would not be bullied or held hostage again so I kept saying no and he kept twisting my words until he finally got tired and left.

The sad thing is that the real problem is not the fact that he is asking for help (there are others who come regularly once every two or three weeks and we are glad to help) but his abusive, oppressive attitude while he makes demands is hurting both him and us.

After watching Beggerman walk away, I trudged over where my worker Issa and my friend Ben were working. I asked what they thought about the situation. I know I can trust Ben to not sugar-coat things so it was a bit validating when he affirmed my thoughts and explained that no Tanzanian would accept Beggerman’s attitude. We then talked about how in our prayers to God we are told to be persistent. But we decided that when we pray it should be with a humble and thankful heart no mater how God responds. It must take a lot of patience from God when we come to him claiming our divine rights and throwing the letter of his law in his face.

God help me to come to you not as a beggerman who owes it to himself but as a child who trusts their father to provide all that they need… including both trials and joys.

~ by Caleb on March 31, 2014.